Healthy B.P.M.

Blogs are buzzing about Jordin Sparks for more reaosns than her nailing American Idol. Apparently Jordin Sparks is not a healthy role model. She’s being calledtoo fat.I loved this story: Is Winner Jordin Sparks Too Fat to Be the American Idol? NAAO Says Yes!

Plus size contestants like Jordin Sparks and Lakisha Jones seem to be tearing America into two components: the I-don’t care-I’m- fat America and the I’m- famous- and -so -I-should -be -a role -model America.

Check out this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svxLdNsxPSw

What do you think? Does size really matter? Is it fair to judge anybody based on what they look like? Because these are things that we do right from kindergarten.

Jordin Sparks, Lakisha Jones, American Idol, health, obesity, weight loss, size zero, Youtube video

I often go visit Isabella Mori’s Change Therapy blog because it’s a great place to learn about ourselves. She says:

Research can be quite futile if we don’t also engage in self-research – soul searching, reflection. a person can be an amazing expert – but if they don’t know themselves, it’s very difficult to make changes. you don’t have to necessarily know absolutely everything about yourself, you don’t need to become a narcissistic navel gazer – but if you don’t know your basic layout, you don’t even know what needs to be changed.

It’s true. Sometimes our basic needs are waiting to be fulfilled.Like food, money, love. Sometimes it’s self-actualization that we are interested in. Coming to terms with yourself has a lot to do with understanding where you are on the need graph.

You’ll really find her article on dismantling an eating disorder from a therapist’s point of view to be quite interesting. Eating disorders spring up from insecure holes in our hearts and the inability to fill some void. It can be changed when we come to terms with who we are and what we need.

eating disorders, anorexia, binge eating, bulimia, therapy

In her Color Me Fit blog Kery talks about how it feels when someone comes up to you and says “You’re so pretty”.

The sad part is that my first thought was to wonder if he was mocking me.

Now I don’t personally subscribe to anyone commenting on how I look. But once my friend did the exact same thing. While I was in college, a friend of mine talked about how she went up to a boy and complimented him on his looks. He looked back at her insulted as though she had said,”You like like dog shit.”

She never saw him again.

Sometimes we can underestimate ourselves so much that we can’t even take a pat on the back without suspicion. Maybe there are days when we look really good, regardless of our size. I’ll say embrace those days and understand a compliment when you get one.

appearance, body image perception

The Size Police come in all shapes and sizes. You meet them in your extended families, in schools, in potential employers….and expectations of the perfect body are flaunted in gossipy magazines and Hollywood drama. Everyone secretly wants to be be perfect looking. Yeah I know they say “I’m happy with my body….” but there are moments when you wish or at least give up on wishing that you were perfect.

How do you deal with the Size Police?

Now if you are a certain size- be it fat or skinny- think about whether you are healthy or not. If not, then you have to work on yourself. Even if you are healthy, there is nothing wrong with leading a sensible enough healthy lifestyle. The point is your size is your problem. And if someone talks to you about the way you look like it’s a random topic(like the weather), I’d say pay no heed.

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Are you shy? Are you proud of it or fed up?

When you are shy:

-Making friends is an effort and it doesn’t come naturally unless you feel really close with someone.

-You want to be invisible in a crowd.

-Doing presentations is a pain. You never get to make the most of an opportunity and prefer to disappear into the background.

-Going to large family functions becomes an obstacle to your happiness.

-You feel isolated and yet you prefer that.

-You prefer to eat alone.

Coping with shyness is an important part of growing up. What can help shy people:

1.Meditation: Looking inward is the best remedy. By realizing your own potential, looking outward becomes easier.

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Working moms have it hard. I liked the way Kelly came to the defence of working moms in her post I’m fat because mommy works. But being a bit of a juggler myself, I think that working moms have a guilt syndrome that they can never quite escape from.

Moms have it in their head that:

-They have to nurture and love their kids. That’s only natural.

-They want to do it by themselves and don’t really trust the help that they get.

-They want to make the money and if they give up their jobs they mope about it or feel worthless.

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This is a great article This Is Your Life (and How You Tell It). It’s the story of how your personality develops from the way you reflect on what happens to you. Different people have different life stories and the way they narrate it determines how far their personalities have changed for better or worse.

What’s your life story? This is a neat six word memoir which I had to share with you:

“Eight thousand orgasms. Only one baby.” – Neal Pollack

You could submit your six word memoir here.

Thinking of your life as a story or a fable really helps you deconstruct your life’s pitfalls and peaks. It’s therapeutic…try it out.

life story, therapy, writing, six word memoir, personality development, narration

Part of leading a healthy lifestyle has to do with being in control of your life. When you are not, you tend to see things falling apart.

One way to be in contol of your life is to quit your addictions. Easier said than done. Meera has written a great post about how she quit smoking for good. She tackled her problem using logic. When you smoke you spend an hour or two on your cigarrettes. That realization changed her approach.

Sometimes having kids is an opportunity to change. If you assume responsibility as a parent then quitting habits like drinking could help. Living with parents on a high could cause stress in children and lead them to pursue binge-drining habits or experience mental trauma later on. Read this.

control, self-control, bine drinking, smoking, addiction, stress, trauma, childhood problems

Yesterday I talked about what burnout is really all about. Sometimes it could be the multitasking you do, sometimes it could be the kind of relationships you are in, other times the kind of compensation you get for the time and energy you invest in your work. All these things can contribute to the level of stress in your life and the happiness quotient you experience.

I would advice any stressed out person to read this excellent article Set Limits at Work to Beat Burnout.

Four ways to beat burnout:

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The best way to stay young when you are growing old is to get into the exercise routine. Another helper is the Mental Workout. How do you do it?

1. You could start using software like Mindfit.

2. Change your lifestyle. If you have the money and the health to go with it, travel around the world!

3. Pursue new interests. It could be playing sudoku or word games. It could be a new hobby like craft.

4.Watch Television. Television has had a positive effect on the lives of many old people whose kids are far away and whose lives are pretty much reduced to the boredom of retirement.

5. Socialize. The best outlet that any older person can have is while he/she makes friends.

older people, aging, hobbies, Mindfit

Being positive is an important part of dealing with stress.

Five ways to deal with stress:

1. Be creative. When I’m stressed out, I play a song, scribble an angry picture, or watch T.V.

2. Talk,talk,talk to someone who likes you and will put up with anything you say.

3. Go for a walk.

4.Breathe,breathe,breathe.

5.Read this.

Five ways not to deal with stress:

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Do you need a life coach?

I was reading a book by a famous life coach and thinking I wish I had met her when I was eighteen. I was clueless about life when I was eighteen. I had no pressure on me to achieve anything. It was all going good. The grades were good. I read and wrote poetry. Life was simple.

On the other hand, kids my age who were going crazy that they had come of age and needed to make it big are making waves in their careers now. I am still experimenting.

How do you know if you need a life coach?

-Well, you’ll pretty much be going either everywhere, as in you would want to do everything, or you would be going no where. Dead end. Zilch.

-You wake up in the morning unhappy. You hate doing what you are doing day in and day out.

-You look at yourself in the mirror or get a photograph of yourself and feel This is not me. I’m not happy.

-Your parents and loved ones notice changes in you-negative ones.

You could pay for your life coach or take help from your friends and family. It isn’t always easy doing things alone. Sometimes some advice, if taken constructively, can make your life easier, help you make better choices and make you feel happy at the end of the day.

life coach, lifestyle

Empathy is an interesting word and requires serious imagination. It’s being able to see the other person’s point of view, feel his or her pain and ironically it could be used to positive or negative effect.

This article Understanding Empathy: Can You Feel My Pain? really got me thinking. Patients are looking for doctors who empathize with them. So would a depressed patient feel better off if his doctor had been through depression himself? Sometimes that would help.

There are racial issues too. Sometimes you would prefer to have a doctor who is from your own country or who shares the same religion. That is something that doctors have to deal with on a daily basis.

Would you be more comfortable if your child was taught by someone from your own country, racial origin or religious affinity? It is a difficult question to answer but if you think about it honestly, maybe you will surprise yourself.

If you are a woman, do you prefer female doctors? And vice versa?

It’s kind of complicated but maybe we believe that someone who shares something of our culture can empathize with us better and serve our purpose. Something I found very interesting since we live in a global potpourri and we can no longer choose what kind of doctor,teacher or grocer we would like to meet.

lifestyle, empathy, globalization

Protecting the young or the lack of protection of the young seems to be making headlines everywhere. Children seem to be the underprivelaged lot. They are little people whose views are often sidelined and they are being abused in the millions. I was kind of shocked to read in the newspapers that a large percentage of children are victims of abuse at HOME.

I can’t really believe that. But it’s true. Parents take out their frustration on children at home. But sexual abuse? If you register at this website you could get information on how to help prevent this terrible truth.

The most important thing we can do is try to nurture a healthy atmosphere in the home. Try at all times to maintain calm and NEVER take out your frustration on the kids because that really amounts to hurting your kids. There is this debate about whether spanking kids can be classified as abuse. Disciplining is one thing but have you noticed when the spanking turns into angry hitting? When you have had a bad day. When you are calm and relaxed, you will not REACT to your children in the same way.

What do you think?

child abuse, healthy lifestyle

Something I saw on T.V the other day made me think- how money smart am I? Not much and that’s what kids should be taught in school. It’s not selfish and materialistic to teach your kids the value of money and the need for it. The entire world operates on it and being money-stupid can lead you to poverty land. Something you don’t want for your children.

5 steps to raising a money-smart kid is a great article if you want to educate your kids about money. I remember asking my dad to just pull money out of the bank with his card.I believed the money was always there. For one thing my dad never talked finances so I never understood.

It’s a good idea to teach kids the truth. Money doesn’t grow on trees and schools should teach kids more practical things. If you can be made to read a seventeenth century poet, well understanding the way your home budget works should also be part of your curriculum.

What do you think?

budget, money, school, education