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The Morning After

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I wonder how many people stuffed themselves silly yesterday and are now paying for it. The big payback may have even started last night when that bloated, fill er to the rim feeling kept them from being comfortable. Then there was the belching and heartburn as the indigestion flamed. Too bad there isn’t a morning after pill to prevent weight gain from the food orgy the night before. Unprotected food frenzies rarely turn out well.

How many took that lonely, solitary walk to the scales, peevishly looking with one eye open as the numbers seem to reflect our nation’s debt. After that debacle, members of the “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing” society vow to clean up their act right away. Committed to the cause they work out like there’s no tomorrow. 60 minutes on the treadmill; 5 MPH, at 5% incline. So far so good. However, cleaning up their act right away lasts until the first person warms up the leftovers. Here’s where the real fun and the bargaining begins.

Hmm let’s see how about no desserts today, just the turkey and dressing. After all we don’t have turkey and dressing everyday so a little more won’t hurt. Come to think of it we don’t have sweet potato pie and triple chocolate cheesecake everyday either. You vow to have just one more teeny weeny slice and get the craving out of your system. Wow that went well; you’re not nearly as bloated as yesterday. Which means you’ll be nice and comfy on your late night shopping spree. With all the darting in and out of shops at lightening speed you ascertain that you’re burning hundred s of calories. Enough to allow for a Grande Tazo Chai Frappuchino Blended Crème, you think.

Back home, a paltry piece of pie sits on the counter, all alone. What the heck, you take it out of it’s misery and vow to work out for an extra fifteen minutes tomorrow. Tomorrow dawns with a headache to end all headaches. You can barely lift your head from the pillow let alone have a full fledged workout. So you sleep in. After the long hibernation you reason that it’s too late to workout and you need to start on your Christmas cards anyway. Sooner or later someone gets the bright idea to warm up the holiday dinner, yet again.

Right about now is the time you say, “Forget it”. Your resolve has left the building and you’ve quit fighting. Might as well enjoy the rest of the weekend and get back into the groove on Monday. Welcome to the first pounds of your annual holiday weight gain.


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